The Tricky Business of Motivating Employees - Part 5

WAYS TO GET BACK ON TRACK

The emotional snowball will be harder to stop than it would
have been to address the work problem in the first place:

Addictive and compulsive behaviors must be addressed first.

As these are attempts to avoid and deny the original
problem, they will be in the way of getting back to the
underlying issue. Depending on which behaviors are present,
structured hospital or outpatient treatment may be
indicated, along with participation in twelve step or other
self-help groups. To locate these resources, the employee
can contact his/her Employee Assistance Program, health
insurance provider and the local branch of the National
Mental Health Association.

Psychotherapy may be indicated to begin unraveling the
emotional puzzle.

The first step will be to utlize either individual or
family psychotherapy to stabilize the individual's
situation at work and at home.

A "corrective action plan" will be needed at work (if not
already established), or plans to find other employment
must be made. Contracts with family members will be put in
place, so that the individual has some "breathing room" to
address conflicts while the family receives some initial
relief through basic agreements with their troubled family
member.

Then the work begins in earnest. What is the source of the
employee's work dilemma? A very careful history of the
problem is taken, to determine this. There are many
possibilities.

It could be uncovered that the employee has difficulties
taking direction from authority figures, which leads to job
dissatisfaction. Conversely, he/she could be struggling
with a position which requires more independent work and
less structure than the person can handle. Other types of
"personality conflicts" may indicate that there are people
in the workplace that remind the individual of unfinished
business with people from his/her past.

Then there are those that "do themselves in" because they
maintain unhealthy beliefs that interfere with
communication and negotiation. Here are some examples:
Those who do not assert themselves may either believe that
they have "no right" to comment on the ways they feel about
their assignments, or fear retaliation for their feedback
to management. Others may believe that "nothing ever works
out for them" and so fall into unhappy acquiescence in the
workplace. Naturally, few individuals with any of these
beliefs have worked much on developing the critical skills
of healthy assertive communication and negotiation.

For these and other similar emotional dilemmas, the work of
psychotherapy may reap benefits that resolve workplace
concerns and those beyond. To feel that one is reaching
their life goals, one must be emotionally "freed up" to
reach for them. A shift in behavior related to authority
figures, for instance, might result in an employee being
more receptive to management's requests and make him more
willing to be his son's parent (i.e. authority figure),
instead of friend. This might also result in a better
atmosphere at home, which is not marked by daily struggles
with the adolescent member of the family.

Sometimes, workshops and readings on assertiveness,
communication skills, self-esteem and the like are
recommended to complement psychotherapy. Once the
employee has a clear view of where the problems lie,
he/she will be able to continue working on them well beyond the
termination of therapy.

Career counseling also may be an option.

Sometimes, during the course of counseling, it becomes
clear that the employee has never found their vocational
niche. While this may be a problem related to the emotional
conflicts discussed above (such as an individual choosing
the same career as his father, but not one that fits his
talents or interests), career counseling may be recommended
to help the employee identify their aptitudes, interests
and preferred work setting. Career counseling also is
extremely valuable in insuring that the individual is
creating a career plan that is possible to successfully
pursue in the current economic climate and at the person's
given stage in life. For example, there is less and less
work for those who want to repair the office machines of
yesterday and it may not be the best plan to begin training
to be an astronaut at age 50.

IN CONCLUSION

The precise course of action needed to remedy any given
employee's job dissatisfaction will of course have to be
uniquely tailored for him/her. However, the information
presented in this article will hopefully provide enough
"food for thought" for employees to consider "working" more
deliberately "toward reaching their life goals" -- at work
and at home. It's also rewarding to know, that the more
satisfying life is, the more likely life span will increase
(refer again to the Health Trap section of this article),
giving more time to enjoy the outcome of this therapeutic
work.

Seeing Things As We Are – The Power of Your Worldview

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."


–Anaîs Nin

Driving home from the pool after my morning swim, I happened to see a young woman walking toward the high school. As the car passed by, we made fleeting but certain eye contact. I was smiling; she was not. In fact, she seemed to be deliberately frowning. "What have you got to be so happy about?" her eyes were asking. "Why are you so unhappy?" I wondered.

In that brief encounter I imagined two worlds colliding, or at least two worldviews. It occurred to me once again how -- from moment to moment, through thought, word, and action -- we invent the world we inhabit.

How we think determines how we make sense of what happens to us and informs the quality of our days. If we think life is a treasure it most certainly is and we find the bounty in life to support our belief. If we believe life a trial, we will see disappointment, pain, and punishment everywhere and perhaps participate in creating it.

When life throws challenges our way, it's especially important to have a worldview that's creative, positive and vision-driven. What we tell ourselves when faced with difficulty makes a difference. Daniel Goleman, author and educator on Emotional Intelligence, calls self-motivation a key skill of emotionally intelligent people. When you're self-motivated, you see challenges in ways that help you learn from them and move forward in life.

My mother, Lorna, has a worldview that says we're here to love and help each other and, in turn, we are loved and taken care of. She does and is.

My friend Suzanne believes that perseverance will allow you to move through the seemingly impossible challenges of life with grace and dignity. And she does.

My lovely Aunt Mimi, who lived in a wheelchair most of her 83 years, believed "life is what you make it," and the way she lived her full and happy life taught those around her how to do the same.

Was my frowning school-bound friend unhappy? Did she really want to make my day miserable, too? Or was it just momentary indigestion. I'll never know. I do know that her emotional state is not about me. We'd never met. I also know that regardless of the fact that we'd never met, depending on my own worldview, I could easily have generated an attitude war in that moment. But I decided not to and continued on with a very enjoyable morning.

I can't think of a better way to begin each day than to remember the power of our innate creativity. Be mindful of what you hope for and what you worry about, what you believe and what you foster in the world. If life truly is what you make it, how are you creating your life today?

8 Reasons to Invest in Decision Diva Coaching

Coaching is a phenomenal way to work your way to the life that you want and deserve. Coach and client work through the "layers" of your life to this point, doing what is necessary to get you out of your old story and begin stepping into the life that you choose. A coach may be the one person in your life that has no agenda for you, but surely has your best interests at heart. This results in an outside perspective on your life that is invaluable to your progress . . . a must-have.

1. Clarity: In order to build the life you want - one decision at at time - and to know which are the "right" decisions to make, one must be very clear on who they really are. You need to move beyond who you were told that you are, who you think you are, who other people want you to be, and who you think you should be. Through open and honest conversation, various fun and enlightening tests, and assignments tailored specifically to your life circumstances, you will discover the true you that is bustin' to get out. You will have more clarity than you've ever had before. And you will learn how to make the decisions to honor who you are and take you where you want to go . . . one decision at a time.

2. Options and Opportunities: To the extent that you are clear on who you are and what you want and need, you will begin to recognize and understand all of the options that lie before you. They may have been there all along, but you just haven't seen them. We will create a new vision. You will know what to say "yes" and "no" to. You will have more control over your time and destiny. You may need to create options and opportunities for yourself . . . we will tackle that together. As the old saying goes . . . two heads are better than one! We will go through the brainstorming process as a team. Your possibilities are endless! You can create options and opportunities to suit your true self. No more trying to plug yourself into situations. You will be creating them based on what is best for YOU. Can you feel the freedom in that statement?

3. Acceptance: A HUGE part of the process of discovering who you are is accepting all that has led you to this moment. There is no good . . . no bad . . . there just IS. Together we will go back and reframe, to acknowledge and accept your unique history. It was all a necessary part of the process for you to be reading these words right now. We do not look in the rear-view mirror to re-live or beat you up for the past. We rewrite your story so you can live and leave the legacy that captures the true essence of who you are. What legacy do you want to leave?

4. Confidence: In the Decision Diva Dictionary, the word "confidence" means TRUSTING YOURSELF . . . to keep promises made to yourself and others; to know that you can handle whatever comes your way because you are CLEAR about who you are and what you want; the ability to rely on yourself to be your own best friend, leaving behind the negative self-talk and self-defeating behaviors; and being comfortable showing up as your authentic self . . . no matter what the situation. These are among the MANY skills you will learn through Decision Diva coaching.

5. Honesty: First and foremost, you will learn to be completely honest with yourself (perhaps for the first time in your life!) You will learn how to command honesty from others - and how to deal with a lack of honesty when it occurs. It all begins with you learning to confidently and comfortably stand in YOUR OWN TRUTH . . . even when it is scary and may not seem popular. To live an authentic life is the greatest gift you can give to yourself and others. When you are honest, authentic and standing in your truth, you set a great example and give others permission to do the same. Decision Diva coaching is the ideal SAFE place to practice this skill.

6. Insight: You will look at yourself and your life in a way that you never have before . . . guaranteed! You will see things from a new perspective, understand why you have made certain decisions in the past, and become so clear on who you are that the decisions you make FOR YOU - from this point forward - will become a natural process rather than a struggle or a sacrifice. Every insight you have into yourself brings you closer to the pot o'gold at the end of YOUR rainbow.

7. New outlook: The set of eyes through which you see the world will be forever changed. When we know better, we do better. And once we know, it is impossible to go back to the old ways when we are committed to our true selves. I am not talking about the "rose colored glasses" theory as we know it. I am talking about a genuine, positive "rosy" outlook, with a newfound excitement for life. Tapping into your essence, discovering the true you. Experiencing joy at every turn and seeing the beauty and wonder of life. These things will no longer go unnoticed . . . they will become a part of your being. That is the glory of being human.

8. Giving from Your Overflow: This is a concept introduced to me by my own coach, Angela. As women, we are accustomed to give, give, give - even when we have nothing left in our tanks. Sound familiar? You will learn how to give to yourself FIRST - filling your own tank - actually to the point of OVERFLOW - before you give to others. That means when you give you will not feel depleted - you will have the space and energy to FEEL the gift of giving . . . and the recipient has the opportunity to experience the joy of receiving. Keep filling YOURSELF up and you have more to give. No guilt. No selfish feelings. It is a gift that you give to yourself and others. A definite WIN-WIN situation for everyone!

Personal Development Tips - 5 Ways to Develop an Abundance Mentality

An abundance mentality is an important asset for your success. Without it, you may end up living a mediocre life, failing to achieve your goals and not getting the success you deserve. In this article, you will find 5 personal development tips for boosting your abundance mentality.

Understand What an Abundance Mentality is An abundance mentality is a belief that the world is an abundant place, that there is more than enough to go round, that you can win and other people can win too.

Make a commitment to continuous growth As you grow as a person, you will find that an abundance mentality comes naturally to you. You will find yourself believing that more and more is possible, that you can do bigger things, that there are more opportunities out there.

You can accelerate this process by helping other people to grow. Teach them about an abundance mentality – in order to teach you first have to truly understand!

Develop an appreciation of the abundance of the world around you As you look around you at people, things, and at nature you can see just how vast this planet we are on is. Think about all the vast chain of events that have led to the cup of coffee in your hand… You will realise just how many opportunities there are out there!

Develop the habit of giving selflessly The universe is a dynamic place, energy and matter is constantly being exchanged. In order to tap into this vast flow, you need to be part of the flow. You play your part by giving. But not by giving and mentally counting the returns you should receive.

You need to give selflessly, with love for the recipient and no expectation of a specific return. You don't have to give anything specific – it could be money, it could be time, it could be… anything of value to the recipient.

Practice Abundance Affirmations regularly affirming that you are in an abundant world will slowly shift your mental state to understanding the truth of this statement.

An abundance mentality is a key component of your personal growth and success. Put the five personal development tips in this article into practise and you will boost you're abundance mentality!

Would you like some more personal development tips?

Motivational Seminars - Do they Translate into Increased Sales?

An old real estate friend of mine once attended, at the request of his broker, a listing presentation. After the speaker had gone through all of his theatricals, humorous anecdotes and a generous helping of buzz words, he encourage members of the audience to sign up for a full day seminar with the emphasis on listing.

My friend said he was amazed at the enthusiasm it created. Dozens of people were pushing and shoving to get to the front with their check books at the ready. As all these people were licensed real estate agents he figured they obviously knew how to knock on a door and deliver a short feature benefit statement, so why were they so anxious to get rid of their cash.

Fred, my friend, was a champion at listing. His secret was to go out in the morning and stay out into the evening knocking on doors. He didn't see anything very complicated about this, it simply took a lot of hard work and perseverance. His office colleagues envied his ability to keep chalking up listings on the board but they never wanted to put that much effort in themselves.

It seems that seminars serve two purposes. First it gets the salesperson off the road for a few hours or a few days and secondly the participants hope that they will receive some inside information that will allow them to make money without having to work so hard.

I spent some time training high tech sales representatives and during that period I suffered through countless motivational tapes and the occasional live speaker. At times I had a good laugh at some of the amusing anecdotes but I never felt that I'd gained anything that would make a huge difference to my life. Even some of the more euphoric salespeople, who came out of the sessions with a great big WOW! rarely changed the way they conducted their business.

I recently spoke to a salesman who swore to me that a well known motivational speaker had changed his life with one particular phrase. However, this man is struggling to make a meager living and he's moving from company to company hoping to find an easy way of making a buck. Seems to me that what ever phrase that was - he should forget it before he goes broke.

Salesmanship hasn't really changed that much since someone tried to sell Pharaoh some outrageously priced vinyl siding for the Pyramids. My old friend Fred used to say that all a salesperson needed was a paper and pencil to write down the orders.

Today of course we've added cell phones, laptops and CRM systems to help salespeople to do their jobs but they still have to make the calls, they still have to build that client relationship and above all remain focused. You can add all those new phrases like active listening, buying facilitation, consultative selling, quantitative evaluation and inter-functional collaboration to your vocabulary, but are your sales figures increasing as a result?

Ben Feldman, who worked for New York Life in the eighties made one million dollars a year in commissions. How did he do it? He worked hard and he worked smart. Can anybody do what he did? Yes - but you've got make up your mind that you're going to do it and never waiver.

I don't personally believe that listening to a motivational speaker will do very much for the average salesperson. For someone to address a hundred or so people with the same message is like a doctor treating all his patients for a sinus infection regardless of their symptoms. I'm convinced that it's better for a salesperson to interact with a motivator on a one on one basis and for areas of concern to be dealt with in detail and without distraction.

Companies have got to examine their own motives for hiring, what I call, light entertainers, and celebrities who know beans about business. There's one famous sport figure on the speaking circuit, who's mother is also on the circuit talking about her son. Soon we'll be seeing Babe Ruth's great grandchildren inspiring us with tales of how he was placed in an orphanage at age seven and was regarded as an unruly student. But, in spite of these set backs, he managed to claw his way up to play major league baseball at the tender age of 19.

The Babe was a great player but he never sold a life insurance policy, a piece of computer software or vinyl siding and salespeople don't play major league baseball - they provide solutions to their client's needs and have a very different way of looking at the world.

What Super Heroes Teach Us About Personl Growth

I have always enjoyed super heroes. Spiderman, Batman, The X-Men, and many others. My favorite of all time would have to be Superman though. Superman always amazed me because he is one of the few super heroes who has to put on a costume to be normal. He also has the ability to have anything he wants, including complete rule over the earth if he so chose, but instead decided to use his powers to help people. There is one major flaw in almost every single super hero though. That one flaw is complete selflessness. Let me explain.

In our society we believe that anyone who is selfish at all is a bad person. For some reason we have picked up the idea that anytime someone does something selfish that they are commiting a sin. Now I am not saying that people should be selfish all the time and never give, however, there needs to be a balance. We should give of ourselves in any way we can to help others live better lives. However, if we don't first take care of ourselves, and if we always have others in mind with every thought, word, and deed, we will never get what we need to live a happy fulfilling life. If you only have ten dollars left until next Friday, it would be silly to give half or all of it to someone else who needs it.

It is not a bad thing to be selfish as long as that selfish is not effecting other people in a negative way emotionally, menatlly, or physically. Each and every one of us has to take care of ourselves as no one else will do so. If you give away your last meal, you will starve to death. If you are always focused on making others happy, you will never express yourself in a way that makes you happy. If you are always doing for others, when will you have the time to do for you. You need to take time to make sure you are providing for yourself on a mental, emotional, and physical level. It is the only way you will ever get closer to your goals and dreams, and hopefully you are providing for others by getting closer to your goals and dreams.

No one does anything for nothing. There is no such thing as a completely altruistic act. The return may be smaller than what is given, but nothing is done for nothing. When you donate money to a non-profit organization you don't do it completely void of emotion. You do it because it makes you feel good for one reason or another. When you stay over time at your job when you don't have to you don't do it so others can benefit. You do it because you feel a sense of duty, or you like to move forward, or for a million other reasons. Nothing we ever do is without some form of self serving reason. We tithe at church because we believe it is the right thing to do and we want to support our ministry. So be willing to be a little more selfish. Superman saved thousands of lives, but at the end of the day he had little left for himself. Often times he pushed his own happiness away so he could help other people. None of us are super heroes, but we can accomplish super hero deeds, as long as we remember to take time for ourselves.

The Times of Our Lives

I recently returned from my ninth week-long trip to Aruba with my fiancé. We spent our time relaxing under a tree and swimming at the beach during the day and then sharing exquisite dinners and romantic walks in the evenings. We had a lot of fun but didn't take any photos because since we had visited the island many times before we already have plenty of pictures of both of us posed in front of every restaurant and divi tree on the island. On our way to the airport we joked that, other than our tanned skin, we would not be able to prove that we traveled here!

As we stood in line at check-in, we noticed also waiting in line was a family who had been on our chartered plane ride down the week before. This day, however, they all had swollen eyes and seemed upset, some of them wiping away tears and sniffling, and sharing only an occasional whispered comment. As it turned out, on the plane we were seated directly in back of them: a mother and her four children who ranged in age from 16 to 8, but no dad was in attendance. We found out that while vacationing with his family that week, he had been killed in a jet skiing accident. This day, his wife and children had to bravely make their way home without him.

We watched the moods of the children go from seemingly careless while playing cards to quiet sobbing when idle, but the mother's face was another story. In between hopping seats in an effort to attend to each of her devastated children, she would sit and stare down at her lap, unable to comprehend what lay ahead for her and her family. We could almost feel her shock and pain as we realized that this is something that could have happened to any one of us that week. While we were laughing and playing in the water and eating chocolate desserts to our heart's content, this poor family was experiencing the tragedy of their lives. The vacation they dreamed about and looked forward to turned out to be a nightmare and something none of them would ever forget – their photographs were these indelible moments that would haunt them forever.

As I turned my gaze away from that lost family and toward my fiancé, I could feel how precious time had suddenly become, and I whispered "thank you" to God for giving me some more of it with him. For a moment I found myself regretting that we had no pictures from this vacation together, but then realized that whether or not we actually capture our experiences on film, our minds are busy recording images of certain moments throughout our lives – moments that somehow jolt our emotions, have an impact on us, and change our perception and direction. I wondered if that kind of memorialization was only triggered during traumatic events. What about the good times? I closed my eyes and scanned my memory hoping that my mind had taken enough time to properly register all the tender, wonderful moments I shared with my fiancé this past week.

Throughout our lives as our hearts begin to show wear and tear from the inevitable mishaps and misfortunes that will befall us, we must remember to offset that anguish and erosion by making it also swell with love and gratitude as we encounter the happy times that bless us. We must consciously stop time and record with our minds so we can remember and cherish for years to come the intimate moments, the surprises, the hours spent with loved ones and friends... all the times of our lives.

Live Life, Be Positive

The ability to understand that things and events around us, that impact on our lives, happen for a purpose, is one of the keys to accepting that there are forces operating around us, over which we have no control. We can hide away from the past heartaches, embarrassments and failures or we can take control and learn from them. They are and do become the tools for our future success, provided we do learn from them.

OptiMindzation Acceleration is a new process of using the latest research into how our mind works and builds on the principals of the "Law of Attraction" to develop our inner strengths. The world is a large room for lessons, not mistakes. Don't feel stupid and doomed forever just because you failed on a project, in a specific situation or in a position at work.
There is always the next time, so make room in your life and use the Law of Attraction to build your self worth. Call in from the universe the things that are rightfully yours, by being specific in your requests.
Keep them positive and you will gain. Be negative and you will attract negativity into your life..

Remember self improvement leads to inner stability from this comes your inner self confidence and your own self esteem.